My New Year's Resolution for You

If only I had a dollar for every weight loss commercial I have seen on TV since the new year started. Or perhaps, a cookie for every commercial. Wouldn’t that be ironic...

It amazes me that some associate a new year with weight loss or a “new you.” What if we lost a grudge, a friend that drains our energy, or the negativity in our life instead? The extra pound or two around your tummy doesn’t weigh nearly as heavily on you as the chip on your shoulder.

There’s no need for a new you. The old you is wise with experience, knowledge, and a past. The old you remembers the wild child that through heartbreak, disappointment, and beauty came out as a strong and stunning adult. Feel that soft thumping within your chest? That steady movement has felt your chest quake in laughter and jerk in sobs. That constant flutter has been gripped when you have been shocked, touched, and moved by life’s wonders. It has been spun by dance and lifted by reach.

 The old you is vintage—an original antique. Let your heart carry you through another year and your mind guide you to the love of yourself and others. Let your curiosity lift you to a new culture, experience, and person. And let the old you continue to find happiness and the constant fluttering of butterflies in your heart and a cautious gut-feeling in your just-the-right-sized tummy. This is my resolution for you.

 

it’s an outlet. it’s an inspiration. it’s a gift. it’s a purpose

20 Lessons I've Learned at 20

Introduction: 20 Lessons I've Learned at 20
Lesson One: Take advantage of the time you are responsible for no one but yourself
Lesson Two: No amount of inspirational quotes will comfort you quite like your mother can
Lesson Three: Counting calories doesn't help you count your blessings
Lesson Four: If you have a funny feeling, chances are you've found a phony
Lesson Five: Sob uncontrollably if you have to. Just make sure you have peanut butter...
Lesson Six: Never overuse "I'm sorry"
Lesson Seven: Never stop doing what removes you from the chaos
Lesson Eight: Life will place you exactly where you need to be
Lesson Nine: Look up
Lesson Ten: You have the pen that writes your life story
Lesson Eleven: Laugh at yourself
Lesson Twelve: Believe in that four letter word
Lesson Thirteen: You can learn the deepest knowledge from the youngest brains
Lesson Fourteen: If someone doesn't contribute to your life, pack your good memories and move the hell on
Lesson Fifteen: Don't make stress, make a plan
Lesson Sixteen: You're never in a boat alone
Lesson Seventeen: Take pride in your hometown
Lesson Eighteen: Make your own rules & follow them
Lesson Nineteen: Write a letter to yourself
Lesson Twenty: My purpose
The Purpose Behind The Series

20 Lessons I've Learned at 20: Conclusion

The Purpose Behind The Series

 

To think of what life has taught me in twenty years is like trying to win Monopoly or a dog chasing its tail. You can try to come to a concise conclusion. You'll go in circles for an hour without an end in sight.

 

But eventually you learn that you must enjoy the small victories. Because, you see, in life there isn't a way to artfully sum up what you have learned. You can take one lesson or one hundred lessons to explain what this life has taught you. Every pit and peak of our day, week, and year uncovers a lesson.

 

However, my twenty lessons don't attempt to put my life in a box. My intentions were not to create an end-all, be-all list of my personal victories after dark times.

 

My lessons are meant to scratch the surface of the meaning of my life. My hilariously awkward, quirky, sassy, loud, cozy crazy life. My goal was and is quite simple. I want you to know you aren't alone. That it is okay to be single. In fact, it should be celebrated. I want you to know it is okay to love and be loved. It is okay to miss home, move on, make your own rules, write your own story, laugh at yourself, sob like a baby and eat a double cheeseburger. You can even do all of those at the same person if you want. And it is okay.

 

This world is large but these lessons are small. Our hearts are in different places but our experiences are the same. We breathe the same air. We feel the same hurt. We feel the same love. Ask yourself why we shouldn't learn the same lessons. Because if we share what we know with the world, we may save someone from feeling that same pain it took to learn a hard lesson. Share your wisdom and in turn share your life.

 

 

it’s an outlet. it’s an inspiration. it’s a gift. it’s a purpose



20 Lessons I've Learned at 20: Lesson Twenty

20. My purpose.

 

 

It’s hard to fathom the idea that by simply being, we are serving a purpose. We may think we aimlessly go through the motions of our day with no bruises or surprises, highs or lows. But the fact you are you and no one else—existing, breathing, learning and living—you, love, are serving a purpose.

 

But we yearn for a bigger purpose in life. Rightfully, so, I might add. And some people search the entirety of their lives to fall short of finding the reason they were put on this earth.

 

However I know my purpose in life. And in the 20 amazing years I have been blessed to live—it is the most breathtaking, startling, profound lesson I have learned.

 

I, simply put, was placed here to reveal the love life brings us.

 

It sounds winding, overly simplistic, and who knows, maybe a bit arrogant.

 

But I know I am needed because of my heart, the courage I have to use it, and the talent I have to deliver it in words. Through my talent of writing, I am able to show others how much love life delivers to us every day, year, and lifetime. I am here to help others see love and find the importance in purpose.

 

So now it is time for me to reveal the love of others. I asked for family and friends to reveal the lessons they have learned in life. And this is what I learned:

 

"Never allow yourself to depend on another person." -Lauren

"The importance of family to get through the hard times. When something goes wrong they are just a phone call or hug away." -Megan

"There's no excuse for being a pessimist. This world is beautiful and the fact that we wake up every day should be enough to put a smile on your face.

The amount of stress you let in to your life is your decision. Deal with things the best you can then let them go. Think back to what you used to stress out about in high school and how insignificant those things seem now, that's how we'll view these situations when we're old and dying!

Whether it be work, school, or play keep a smile on your face and joy in your heart. That's how life was intended to be lived and any other emotion, although sometimes necessary, can take away from the potential of your day." -Micah

"Family is just that….family. Whether it is your natural born or extended. After marriage you should never learn to just “tolerate” your extended family. You need to open your heart and accept them as your own. You learn that they are there for you and support you just as much as your own. They become your own." -Craig

"I've learned, as cliche as it may sound, laughter is very often, if not always, the best medicine!" - Louis

Oh so many things...if you do or say something that makes another person smile, you have given them a gift." -Gail

“'You don’t like the person you’ve become? Then do something about it because no one’s going to do it or you.' This quote has taught me so much about my life." -Zach

"Quality over quantity in everything in life. Few friends who are true friends over tons of fake ones. Fewer possessions with meaning over many without need. I try to apply that rule anywhere I can and I think most of the time it makes people happier in life." -Bridget

We never know the minutes we have left on our time clock. The earlier we learn the reason we are here, the earlier we can discover the meaning of our lives and find comfort in the pits and peaks of our existence.

Lessons are permanent marks on our minds and hearts. They remind us of where we have been, where we are now, and where we will go in the future. They are a part of us- guiding, lighting, and calming.

It is and always will be...


it’s an outlet. it’s an inspiration. it’s a gift. it’s a purpose

20 Lessons I've Learned at 20: Lesson Nineteen

19.      Write a letter to yourself.

I know it doesn't relate to the topic, but isn't my Grandpa the cutest?

I have loved to write from a young age. I was gifted my first journal at the age of eight and immediately started spilling the seat-gripping details of my insanely eventful life. These juicy entries usually began with the Little Debbie snack I sneaked for breakfast and ended with an argument I had with my sister. You’re begging for more, I know, but I have to get on with it.

 

So I continued to write at least weekly every year. I continued writing through middle school, high school, and continue to journal today. But one thing I have started doing over the past few years is something I am doing for a future me. You know, laying the foundation for a memory.

 

I began writing letters to the future me in recent years. I wrote one letter to myself to open the day of my wedding and one for my groom as well. Every year or so, I write to the Rachel kicking down doors and being the independent young professional I hope she will be. I write to the Rachel with a family and a home. I write to the Rachel receiving her Bachelor’s and being handed the most expensive piece of paper she will ever buy. I write to the Rachel who may be on her knees begging for strength.

 

Sometimes the lessons we learn in life haven’t happened yet. And as I begin to conclude this journey you have taken with me, I want you to know that. I have learned so many lessons before the age of 20. And I hope to learn many more before the first anniversary of my 29^th. But sometimes it helps to lay the groundwork for those new lessons to be built. Write a letter to the future you with big dreams and small realities. Write a letter to the future you facing the biggest change of your life. Write a letter to the future you that needs a little reminder of how far you’ve come. Because often the person we lose touch with the most is the one in the mirror staring back at us.

 

I will leave you with that before I get too sappy on you. That’s for lesson 20…

 

it’s an outlet. it’s an inspiration. it’s a gift. it’s a purpose

20 Lessons I've Learned at 20: Lesson Eighteen

18.   Make your own rules & follow them.

From a young age, I have always been quite opinionated. I credit my parents for giving me the moral compass and curiosity in order to freely develop my opinions. Teachers, however, rarely valued my young talent. It made me question them, their lessons, and sometimes, even their authority.

 

But now that I have nobody’s rules to follow but my own, I have created my own. I’m not talking deep, philosophical rules. I’m talking my own set of dating rules. And in case you were wondering, I’ve learned every single one of them the hard way…

 

So, here we go. My personal set of dating rules in order to prevent me from thinking it is acceptable to date someone who will ultimately end with a “you’re a great girl, but.”

 

DON’T DATE SOMEONE WHO:

1. Loves a certain animal more than he could love you.

2. Loves himself more than he could love you.

3. Thinks it is socially acceptable to wear makeup and more hair products than you.

4. Shows up on a first date in a blinged-out Ed Hardy shirt and alligator skin boots.

5. Shows up on a first date in a cut-off shirt with an animation of a boy peeing on anything.

6. Cries on a third date.

7. Thinks peach is the best color on him.

8. Carries an overnight bag bigger than yours.

9. Shows up on a blind date with hair as long as yours.

10. Begins communication as a direct message on Twitter.

11. Tickles you in a movie theater to strategically move you closer to him.

12. Uses the line “If you were a pirate, would you want your parrot on this shoulder or this shoulder?” as he puts his arm (not cleverly) behind you.

13. Hits on your friend. (Male friend, might I add.)

14. Tells you he could see himself living with his parents for as long as they will take him.

15. Has a celebrity crush on Kim Kardashian.

16. Eats a salad on a date while you reach for the burger.

17. Lists “getting swole” as one of his greatest passions.

18. Does donuts in the parking lot when picking you up on a first date.

19. Has watched The Notebook more times than you.

20. Is 27 and not ready to settle down.

21. Is known by your family as nobody other than “the sheep farmer.”

22. You have to call your family and warn them by saying “he’s really metrosexual but I swear he’s not gay.”

 

So, ladies and gents, there it is. Hopefully I made you chuckle, made you think, and more than likely, made you feel better about your own dating/relationship/marriage life.

And if you’re still reading this, you, my dear, get the most important lesson of all:

Never make a pact with yourself that you will never turn down a date offer. Unless you want to find yourself in a living room surrounded by your family while your brother-in-law asks your prospective date if he has any STD’s, it’s best to just use your discretion.

 

 

it’s an outlet. it’s an inspiration. it’s a gift. it’s a purpose

 

 

20 Lessons I've Learned at 20: Lesson Seventeen

17.      Take pride in your hometown.



 

I was born in a town that is the epitome of the intersection between city folk and Old McDonald. I went to a small farm school for my elementary education where you could name everyone in your grade. The “Ag” program started at a young age and our history was as solid as the bricks that built the school. The name was Hopewell and it created within its students what the name suggests—hope for a future with endless education and the wellness of mind from knowing the people around you would form the friendships you cherish forever.

 

As we grew into awkward brace-faced preteens with curious minds and Lisa Frank folders, we graduated D.A.R.E and went to middle school. The other elementary school in the district combined with mine to double our class size and in turn doubling our pool of boyfriend prospects. It was intimidating having these “city kids” march into recess with their Aeropostale baby T’s. But we stuck with what we knew and held hands through the change. We let in new friends but held tight to the old. They were our comfort, our past, and our home.

 

Soon there were no lines between one person’s past and another’s. We were the big dogs of the school with our boy-girl parties and our first kisses. We were too cool for dances and hell, come at us, we even wore mascara. We went to movies and held hands and (kind of) fell in love. We had couple songs to Gavin Degraw’s Chariot and made friendship bracelets.

 

Then we went to high school. We went from head honchos to little punks and we held tight through it all. We went through our first heartbreaks and low-points and maybe even failed a test. But the one thing we never lost was our grip. We knew where each other came from and we made sure we never lost sight of it. We whined there was nothing to do when we got our first taste of freedom at the sweet age of sixteen. Yet our lack of events made us appreciate the simple company of each other. We didn’t have IMAX theaters or teen clubs. We had movie rentals and Adornetto’s. We had bonfires and toasted marshmallows and sleepovers galore. We had game nights and lazy nights and gift exchanges.

 

And when we once again became the big dogs of the school—only this time with true loves and sisterhoods facing the biggest change of our lives—we prepared to say “see you later” with our hands, still, held tight.

 

I will forever be grateful for the place that taught me most of these lessons. Be grateful for the town that taught you how to love, how to fight— and how to be.

 

it’s an outlet. it’s an inspiration. it’s a gift. it’s a purpose