20 Lessons I've Learned at 20: Lesson Four

4.      If you have a funny feeling, chances are you’ve found a phony.

 

 

My family and friends have often told me I should write a book discussing all of the phonies I’ve found. I rarely consider myself an expert on a topic, but I can say with a high level of confidence that I am an expert on this subject. I even have the title picked out—“You’re A Great Girl, But…” Let’s just say my life is like the movie 50 First Dates… but I actually remember every.

                                                                                                                                single.
                                                                                                                                               one of them.

 

The lesson I’ve learned from all of these enlightening experiences is that in each of them, I had a gut feeling at one point or another that something was off. Something wasn’t off with the way they chewed their gum (my sister actually broke up with a guy for this exact reason) or because they walked funny. (Guilty). Something was off in the way they left me feeling. It was like I ate something that seemed nice, but it took convincing myself that after a whole bowl of it that I would love it. But instead of loving it, it really just left a bad taste in my mouth that I tried to ignore.

 

If someone leaves a bad taste in your mouth, don’t keep digging in until the source of the taste is uncovered. Don’t be that guy that swishes it around in his mouth obnoxiously. Be that girl or that guy that walks the other direction the moment it occurs to you that your futures don’t align. Or that your heart doesn’t beat in sync with the other. Or that you will never end up serving the purpose you are meant to serve with that person beside you.

 

Trust me, being alone will never feel as lonely as being beside someone who makes you feel as if you are.

it’s an outlet. it’s an inspiration. it’s a gift. it’s a purpose

 

20 Lessons I've Learned at 20: Lesson One

1. Take advantage of the time you are responsible for no one but yourself.

There are few times in our lives that we have few obligations. For some of you, this time may have seemingly passed. And for others, you may be experiencing it now. But even if this lesson applies to the thirty minutes you have during naptime, read carefully.

Sometimes we take for granted the fact that we don’t have to hold someone’s hand as they choose which tie looks best for work, or whether that lipstick is too daring for daytime. (Ladies, it never is.) For some of us, we don’t have to wake up because someone has the sniffles or sees a monster beneath their bed.

 

These years we live with little obligations and responsibilities are spent wishing that we had someone next to us or complaining that a midterm is approaching. But we must learn to cherish the only agenda we have in our lives right now—our own. Our time will come when we must coordinate and calibrate his and hers or his and his or hers and hers schedules. Our time will come when we can’t sip on wine and watch The Notebook on a Tuesday because we feel like it. Our time will come when we can’t wake up at 6am on Homecoming Saturday and decide not only is it appropriate to have beer with our eggs, it is expected. Our time will come when our grandparents and parents aren’t the ones there to hold our hands through this crazy maze we call life. Our time will come when our worries turn from taking tests to praying for hope.

 

Hold on to the time you have when your only responsibility is finding yourself and creating who you envision when you think of you. Make an imprint where you see potential while there’s no one there to ask you why.

 

it’s an outlet. it’s an inspiration. it’s a gift. it’s a purpose